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I feel kind of left out because I don't know exactly what they are. Definitions of bases — and I'm not talking baseball Definitions of bases — and I'm not talking baseball Dear Alice, Some of the girls at my school talk about how their boyfriends got to first, second, or third base with them. That focus on "real" sex not only ignores the intricacies of female pleasure; the base system also disregards the queer experience of gays, lesbians, asexual people and other sexual minorities. Like an aging MLB player, it's time to retire the system. Could you tell me what the bases are for girls and guys? In a rush to pass the specifically spelled-out bases, foreplay isn't even a priority — first base isn't something to brag about to your "bros.
Third base is oral and a home run is well, doing the deed. Sex is personal, and the experience varies. Within this "base system," sex is only sex when it is P-in-V — you're just building up until you score a penetrative home run. Speaking of sexual activity in terms of bases, sometimes doing so can make the interaction with your partner s seem more goal-oriented i. Using a sports metaphor to measure sexual progress might make things easy for teens, particularly boys looking to impress peers with how "far" they got with the girl next door. This is especially key for women, who are more likely to orgasm when oral sex is involved. Ultimately, the ranking ends up disregarding the ways women experience sex and orgasm, focusing the system inherently on male pleasure. With sex quickly becoming the goal in and of itself, young people can feel the need to lose their virginity because everyone else is — and perhaps jump into bed before they're ready or truly want to. Setting intercourse as the goal inherently means ranking other sexual acts as less intimate, which ignores the complexities of our desires and comfort zones. And hey, it is America's pastime. I'd really appreciate it. Whether you're hitting a home run or striking out, it helps to have the low down on the latest sexual terminology — not just because others are talking about it, but it may be helpful when communicating with potential partner s. Second base is all hands with the guy making his way up the girl's shirt. In a rush to pass the specifically spelled-out bases, foreplay isn't even a priority — first base isn't something to brag about to your "bros. Many have said that letting a man go down on her feels "intimate and emotional and thus more desirable in a relationship," not something to be shared with just a fling. But when it becomes goal-oriented, the individual experience is erased, replaced by a checklist that treats intimate interactions as items to be checked off. If you're not taking pleasure in the journey — or at least indulging some curiosity — then why keep going? When sexual exploration becomes goal-oriented, satisfaction becomes secondary, and we risk missing out on the various kinds of emotional and physical satisfaction sex offers. The goal is to "score": Another crucial piece to rounding any of the bases is making sure that you and your partner s have mutually consented. While there's no "official" definition of what the bases represent, there seems to be a general understanding of each base: Often, the most pleasurable sexual activity occurs when both or all partners are focused on the experience — rather than an end goal. But sex is more than that. Making penetration sex the goal is essentially framing the game around the heterosexual male experience of pleasure. That focus on "real" sex not only ignores the intricacies of female pleasure; the base system also disregards the queer experience of gays, lesbians, asexual people and other sexual minorities. Like an aging MLB player, it's time to retire the system.
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